Mother DOESN'T KNOW BEST: You are the Expert on You!
Updated: Jan 26
… and what a fucking relief that is!
It’s time to stop making decisions that are a combined hot mess of you and everyone else. Be done with making decisions that leave you feeling shitty, uncertain, confused, or just kind of “off.” Here is your permission slip:
YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT'S TRUE FOR YOU!
I remember working at a job that was sucking the life out of me. I was working really hard, putting in lots of overtime, and was buried under a massive pile of stress and unrealistic expectations. My boss kept telling me I wasn’t efficient enough and I kept listening to her. Unfortunately, I chose to believe her.
As a result, I was gaining weight, having trouble sleeping, and needing to spend lots of time every day bitching and venting in order to process and let go of all the stress and unhappiness I was feeling.
Eventually, I moved onto another job and all this resolved itself. (For those of you who love an epilogue, check this out: once I was gone, my former boss divided up my job and hired two people to do the work I had been doing! I knew I wasn’t crazy.) The bottom line is I should have known the claim that I was being inefficient wasn't true but I allowed my boss’ opinion to negatively impact me for far too long.
Here’s the truth: there will never be a shortage of other people’s opinions. But the undeniable fact is that you—and you alone—will bear the responsibility and have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Ultimately friends, family, employers, experts, social media influencers, businesses, and even brands that sway you to their point of view, will ride off into the sunset without consequence if things go “tits up” for you.
Read on to learn how to be the expert on you…
Get to know yourself!
Understanding your why as often as possible will help you detect when information is aligned with your true self and when it is off by a little bit or a lot. The familiar expression applies here: this is simple but not necessarily easy. Persist anyways because the ultimate rewards are invaluable!
Obviously we can’t know it all, so definitely go out and gather information, advice and ideas to compliment your own thoughts. Go ahead and talk to others, read, and watch videos. Get educated, get inspired, get enlightened, but then run the advice and ideas through your filter and make sure they are right for you. Because only you:
Have your best interests at heart
Know your special snowflake self and current circumstance like no other
Know if this will actually help support you and complement your why
CAUTION: While it’s imperative you know yourself, it’s also helpful to consider where the advice is coming from—people will often have interests and agendas of their own that might be shockingly different than yours. Stay alert and be careful of allowing yourself to be unduly influenced for the wrong reasons by any of the following:
friends who don’t have your best interest at heart
celebrities and social media influencers
employers, coworkers, and colleagues
businesses and brands
people who have power over you
people you have power over
people you put on a pedestal
and yes, even people who have put you on a pedestal!
Be prepared to feel some resistance doing this. Change can feel uncomfortable or scary at first. You might feel vulnerable stepping forward and taking actions that you alone are responsible for. This is normal—so expect it. Know too that it will get easier, but for now be strong and go for it.
When all is said and done you'll be able to sit back and enjoy the ultimate upside to taking complete control of your life—the sheer and utter relief of:
Living your true, best life on your terms rather than trying to please others
Embracing all the unique, tiny, unusual, but important nuances that make you, you
Living your life at the pace that’s right for you
I have an invitation for you…
I’d love for you to start practicing the habit of asking yourself: Is the advice that I’m reading, hearing, being advised or being told true for me? Then take your answer and follow this simple guide:
If the advice is perfect for you—go ahead and consider doing it.
If the advice contains a kernel of truth for you—keep what resonates with you and chuck the rest.
If the advice is absolutely fucking wrong and total utter bullshit for you—regardless of who gave it to you—reject it!
A final thought…
Today you are You,
that is truer than true.
There is no one alive
who is Youer than You.
Wishing you happiness always,